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whole-life skills for a radically different future

Consent, Courage, Compassion: Fertile Soil for Conscious Connecting

August 27-29, 2021

at Earthaven Ecovillage
near Asheville, NC

Fertile Soil for Healthy Relating. Join Sarah Taub and Harold Kornylak for a dynamic weekend of learning and growing in community!

Group of people inside Earthaven Ecovillage function room sitting on floor in big circle at workshop

Everyone is welcome. No previous experience necessary.

Registration NOT OPEN YET.


About the Workshop

Overhead view looks like a spiral of all races of people in a circle reaching one arm in and cupping each others hands

Join us for a dynamic weekend of learning and growing in community! This experiential workshop, led by expert facilitator Sarah Taub and her team, will help you to develop skills and practices for cultivating healthy relationships, with a special emphasis on consent, courage, and compassion. Knowing your truth, speaking your truth, setting and honoring boundaries, working skillfully with emotional triggers, holding compassionate space for others, developing curiosity about ourselves and others, letting go of attachment to being “right” – all of these contribute to loving and intimate relationship with self and others. All relationship styles are welcome. We’ll engage body, mind, and emotions in our exploratory and experiential learning process.


About Facilitators

Head and shoulders photo of Sarah Taub instructor smiling

SARAH TAUB, Ph.D., teaches relationship and community skills and helps groups deepen their intimacy. She facilitates group processes of many sorts, including consensus decision-making, business meetings and retreats, ZEGG Forum (www.zegg-forum.org/en), and conflict resolution sessions. Sarah co-founded the first cohousing community in Washington, DC, and now lives with her intimate network of lovers and co-creators at Chrysalis, a small urban intentional community in the DC area. She has been organizing with Center for a New Culture since 2004, putting on multi-day camps and other events that create a culture based on awareness, compassion, and freedom rather than on fear and judgment. Since 2011, she has co-managed Abrams Creek Center, a retreat center and community in the mountains of West Virginia. What excites Sarah most is holding space for the deepest group conflicts so that an even deeper level of connection, understanding, and creativity can emerge.

Head and shoulders photo of Harold Kornylak instructor smiling with plants in backgroundHarold Kornylak, D.O., practicing since 1983, specializes in Osteopathic manual medicine, Psychotherapy, Intimacy Enhancement, Tantra, and a wide variety of body-oriented psychotherapeutic approaches. Prior to medical school, he achieved degrees in physics, biochemistry, Eastern Philosophy, and research in the neurophysiology of consciousness and meditation. Over the last two decades, he has taught Tantra and sexual healing with some of the premier teachers in the U.S. and abroad, including Margot Anand and Deborah Anapol. His passion is continuing to refine his unique ability to help others to experience fulfillment and ecstatic states in their life and relationships.

More about other facilitators coming soon.


Tentative Schedule

friday, August 27
4:00pm          Arrive. Set-up camp. Settle into the land.
6:00pm          Dinner
7:30pm          Weaving Our Web of Connection and Intimacy

Saturday, august 28
8:30-9:30       Breakfast
9:30-12:30     Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Key Skills for Love
12:30-2:00     Lunch
2:00-5:00       Consent Culture: Boundaries and Beyond
5:00-6:30       Break
6:30-7:30       Dinner
7:30-10:00     Evening: Snuggle Party and Connection Games

Sunday, august 29
8:30-9:30       Breakfast
9:30-12:30     Morning: Designer Relationships
12:30-2:00     Lunch
2:00-5:00       Clearing the Channels: Courageous Clarity for Profound Connections
5:00-5:30       Closing Circle


Session Descriptions

Weaving Our Web of Connection and Intimacy

Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? In this high-energy, interactive workshop, we’ll find out more about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of everyone present. We’ll explore curiosity and transparency as attitudes and practices that support healthy relationships, whether with lovers, friends, co-workers, or community members. We’ll have some short, fun exercises where people can develop the courage to share about themselves transparently and to ask questions based on curiosity. We’ll deepen into a space of compassionate connection as we begin to understand each other more deeply. We’ll also begin the exploration of consent skills, in that everyone is encouraged to check in with themselves and choose exactly how they participate.
Saturday:

Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Key Skills for Love

As we move through the world, we create stories that we hope will help us understand ourselves and the people around us. Sometimes these stories do help, and sometimes they get in the way – especially when we jump to conclusions and interpretations that go far beyond the information our senses are providing us. If others create a different interpretation from the same information, we can find ourselves in conflict with them without understanding why. Our stories can generate powerful emotions in us – fear, joy, anger, sadness – which may lead us to take actions that don’t serve us. How do we hold our emotions skillfully, even when they feel overwhelming? How can we recognize when we are creating a story, and become curious about what other stories might be just as true or even truer?

Consent Culture: Boundaries and Beyond

How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most daring and intimate response possible – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” In this dynamic workshop, we will:
Go over the conceptual foundations of creating a culture based on people following their inner truth rather than taking actions due to guilt or shame.
Address the "learning cycle" and how one creates new habits.
Experientially develop inner awareness of what one is feeling/sensing/reacting to others.
Practice making requests and offers, giving real responses, and working with the feelings that come up throughout.
If desired, give and receive consensual hugs, shoulder rubs, hair stroking, and similar types of touch.

Snuggle Party and Connection Games

We will open up a playground to explore consensual, platonic touch in community. Nurturing touch has been shown to release compounds (i.e. oxytocin) which help lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels, and contribute to feelings of connection and emotional well-being. No one is required to touch another person in this workshop; you’re welcome to talk, cuddle, read a book, or observe – observation is full participation.

Designer Relationships

Every relationship is unique. Through communication and honesty you and your loved ones can play however you want to on the spectrum of connection! Many of us have not been taught tools for navigating the landscape of discussing our needs and desires with the ones we love. How do you know what choices to make that give the best chance of having your relationships turn out well? We will explore the various configurations that relationships can take, and what the advantages and challenges of each are.

Clearing the Channels: Courageous Clarity for Profound Connections

Although we desire deep rich connections with our intimates, barriers arise even between the closest friends or lovers. After weeks, months or years, these little things take their toll, and your connection is less than it could be. A regular practice of checking in with the people you’re close to can save you so much heartache down the road. In this workshop we’ll practice easy, doable tools for sharing the things you haven’t been saying to your loved ones. You’ll be able to put them to use right away, and you’ll see how good it can feel to keep the channels clear.


Logistics

Picture of thirty people at workshop standing in a circle holding hands on the lawn outside a circular building

Location
This program takes place at Earthaven Ecovillage. This permaculture-based community offers a unique living classroom where participants will engage with the natural world, eco-infrastructure, and the intimate experience of rural community living.

What to Expect at Earthaven

Accommodations
Camping is included. Private indoor lodging at Earthaven is available for an additional cost.

Shared indoor lodging
Cost per person: 1 night, $15, 2 nights $30, 3 nights $45

Private indoor lodging
Cost for 1 person: 1 night, $45, 2 nights $75, 3 nights $90
Cost for 2 people (shared bed): 1 night, $85, 2 nights $137.50, 3 nights $165

More about Accommodations

Travel
Earthaven is nestled in the heart of the rural Southern Appalachian Mountains, 30 miles outside of Asheville, NC on curvy mountain roads and within two hours of three airports.

More about Travel

Food

Image composite of pasta dish, soup bowl, and a salad

Delicious, omnivorous meals are prepared by talented culinary artists from the Earthaven community. Vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options available. Snacks and beverages (tea, coffee) are provided. Participants are invited to help with meal clean-up. Many hands make light work.

As much food as possible is sourced from Earthaven and its surrounding farms and gardens, with some ingredients sourced from local grocery stores. Our meals are created with seasonal, local, fresh, wildcrafted, humanely-raised, and organic ingredients.

***If you have dietary needs beyond the ones listed here, please be prepared to bring supplemental food to support your nourishment and well-being. Our kitchen simply cannot accommodate all diets.

Full Weekend: Six meals are included, Friday dinner through Sunday lunch.
Partial Weekend: Four meals are included, Friday dinner through Saturday dinner.
Friday Only: no meals included


Cost

Full weekend (Fri-Sun)
Tuition Sliding Scale: $300-450 food and camping included

Partial weekend (Fri-Sat)
Tuition Sliding Scale: $200-260 food and camping included

Friday Only
Suggested donation $20-40 workshop only; food and camping not included. No registration needed, donations collected at the door.

Tuition includes meals & camping as noted above, instruction, and all materials. Private indoor lodging is available for an additional cost. Transportation is available for an additional cost.

Scholarships
We offer partial scholarships (50% of the bottom of the sliding scale) to black, indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) who otherwise would not be able to afford to attend. We understand that BIPOC experience more financial and institutional barriers to participation, and this is one way we are able to create more access. If you identify as BIPOC and would like to receive a scholarship, please contact us at info@schoolofintegratedliving.org.


How to Secure Your Space

step 1 - Register: Fill out the registration form. Please give yourself plenty of time to complete the application, because it cannot be saved until submitted. (Your space is not reserved until your payment is received.)

Registration is not yet open for 2021.

step 2 - Payment: Use the cart below to select your tuition, meal, transportation, and lodging options, then select "Add to Cart." After the page refreshes, select the "Checkout with PayPal" option and continue through the PayPal website.

SLIDING SCALE: Because some people have more financial means than others, we have created a sliding scale fee system to accommodate a range of economic realities. The high-end of the scale reflects the value we believe the program holds, and the low-end offers a more accessible entry point. By choosing a higher price point, you are helping make the program more accessible to others for whom the low-end may be cost-prohibitive. Please consider your needs and resources to determine what might be a stretch, but not a strain.

Registration is not yet open for 2021.

We also accept checks or money orders payable to the following address and note the class for which you are registering in the memo field:

School of Integrated Living
11 Full Circle Trail
Black Mountain, NC 28711

Crowdfunding and Fundraising: Check out our Crowdfunding and Fundraising page for creative ways to engage your community and launch a "Community Supported Education" campaign. This approach can help support your investment in yourself, your community, the planet, and future generations.


Cancellation Policy

If you cancel, you may:

  • Transfer your registration to a friend (they would need to register online).
  • Donate your place to someone who would not be able to participate without financial assistance (SOIL would handle this).
  • Request a refund per our policy:
    • 90% refund for cancellations prior to 30 days before the start of the program.
    • 50% refund for cancellations prior to 10 days before the start of the program

If SOIL cancels this program for any reason whatsoever, you would receive a 100% refund.

Contact us at info@schoolofintegratedliving.org with registration questions.

Experience a developing ecovillage for yourself!

Most of SOIL’s classes take place at Earthaven Ecovillage, giving participants a hands-on, skill-building immersion within an authentic community-based, village setting. Tours of Earthaven are also available on a monthly basis, a great way to dip your toe into this long-standing, intergenerational social experiment.

Learn More
COVID 19 Response: SOIL is publishing resources and deferring all programs to 2021.Read More
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