Consent, Courage, Compassion: Fertile Soil for Conscious Connecting
April 10-12, 2020
at Earthaven Ecovillage
near Asheville, NC
Fertile Soil for Healthy Relating. Join Sarah Taub and Harold Kornylak for a dynamic weekend of learning and growing in community!
Everyone is welcome. No previous experience necessary.
About the Workshop
Join us for a dynamic weekend of learning and growing in community! This experiential workshop, led by expert facilitator Sarah Taub and her team, will help you to develop skills and practices for cultivating healthy relationships, with a special emphasis on consent, courage, and compassion. Knowing your truth, speaking your truth, setting and honoring boundaries, working skillfully with emotional triggers, holding compassionate space for others, developing curiosity about ourselves and others, letting go of attachment to being “right” – all of these contribute to loving and intimate relationship with self and others. All relationship styles are welcome. We’ll engage body, mind, and emotions in our exploratory and experiential learning process.
SARAH TAUB, Ph.D., teaches relationship and community skills and helps groups deepen their intimacy. She facilitates group processes of many sorts, including consensus decision-making, business meetings and retreats, ZEGG Forum (www.zegg-forum.org/en), and conflict resolution sessions. Sarah co-founded the first cohousing community in Washington, DC, and now lives with her intimate network of lovers and co-creators at Chrysalis, a small urban intentional community in the DC area. She has been organizing with Center for a New Culture since 2004, putting on multi-day camps and other events that create a culture based on awareness, compassion, and freedom rather than on fear and judgment. Since 2011, she has co-managed Abrams Creek Center, a retreat center and community in the mountains of West Virginia. What excites Sarah most is holding space for the deepest group conflicts so that an even deeper level of connection, understanding, and creativity can emerge.
Harold Kornylak, D.O., practicing since 1983, specializes in Osteopathic manual medicine, Psychotherapy, Intimacy Enhancement, Tantra, and a wide variety of body-oriented psychotherapeutic approaches. Prior to medical school, he achieved degrees in physics, biochemistry, Eastern Philosophy, and research in the neurophysiology of consciousness and meditation. Over the last two decades, he has taught Tantra and sexual healing with some of the premier teachers in the U.S. and abroad, including Margot Anand and Deborah Anapol. His passion is continuing to refine his unique ability to help others to experience fulfillment and ecstatic states in their life and relationships.
More about other facilitators coming soon.
Friday, April 10
4:00pm Arrive. Set-up camp. Settle into the land.
7:30pm Weaving Our Web of Connection and Intimacy
Saturday, April 11
9:30-12:30 Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Key Skills for Love
2:00-5:00 Consent Culture: Boundaries and Beyond
7:30-10:00 Evening: Snuggle Party and Connection Games
Sunday, April 12
9:30-12:30 Morning: Designer Relationships
2:00-5:00 Clearing the Channels: Courageous Clarity for Profound Connections
5:00-5:30 Closing Circle
Weaving Our Web of Connection and Intimacy
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? In this high-energy, interactive workshop, we’ll find out more about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of everyone present. We’ll explore curiosity and transparency as attitudes and practices that support healthy relationships, whether with lovers, friends, co-workers, or community members. We’ll have some short, fun exercises where people can develop the courage to share about themselves transparently and to ask questions based on curiosity. We’ll deepen into a space of compassionate connection as we begin to understand each other more deeply. We’ll also begin the exploration of consent skills, in that everyone is encouraged to check in with themselves and choose exactly how they participate.
Compassionate Self-Inquiry: Key Skills for Love
As we move through the world, we create stories that we hope will help us understand ourselves and the people around us. Sometimes these stories do help, and sometimes they get in the way – especially when we jump to conclusions and interpretations that go far beyond the information our senses are providing us. If others create a different interpretation from the same information, we can find ourselves in conflict with them without understanding why. Our stories can generate powerful emotions in us – fear, joy, anger, sadness – which may lead us to take actions that don’t serve us. How do we hold our emotions skillfully, even when they feel overwhelming? How can we recognize when we are creating a story, and become curious about what other stories might be just as true or even truer?
Consent Culture: Boundaries and Beyond
How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most daring and intimate response possible – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” In this dynamic workshop, we will:
Go over the conceptual foundations of creating a culture based on people following their inner truth rather than taking actions due to guilt or shame.
Address the "learning cycle" and how one creates new habits.
Experientially develop inner awareness of what one is feeling/sensing/reacting to others.
Practice making requests and offers, giving real responses, and working with the feelings that come up throughout.
If desired, give and receive consensual hugs, shoulder rubs, hair stroking, and similar types of touch.
Snuggle Party and Connection Games
We will open up a playground to explore consensual, platonic touch in community. Nurturing touch has been shown to release compounds (i.e. oxytocin) which help lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels, and contribute to feelings of connection and emotional well-being. No one is required to touch another person in this workshop; you’re welcome to talk, cuddle, read a book, or observe – observation is full participation.
Every relationship is unique. Through communication and honesty you and your loved ones can play however you want to on the spectrum of connection! Many of us have not been taught tools for navigating the landscape of discussing our needs and desires with the ones we love. How do you know what choices to make that give the best chance of having your relationships turn out well? We will explore the various configurations that relationships can take, and what the advantages and challenges of each are.
Clearing the Channels: Courageous Clarity for Profound Connections
Although we desire deep rich connections with our intimates, barriers arise even between the closest friends or lovers. After weeks, months or years, these little things take their toll, and your connection is less than it could be. A regular practice of checking in with the people you’re close to can save you so much heartache down the road. In this workshop we’ll practice easy, doable tools for sharing the things you haven’t been saying to your loved ones. You’ll be able to put them to use right away, and you’ll see how good it can feel to keep the channels clear.
This program takes place at Earthaven Ecovillage. This permaculture-based community offers a unique living classroom where participants will engage with the natural world, eco-infrastructure, and the intimate experience of rural community living.
Camping is included. Private indoor lodging at Earthaven is available for an additional cost.
Shared indoor lodging
Cost per person: 1 night, $15, 2 nights $30, 3 nights $45
Private indoor lodging
Cost for 1 person: 1 night, $45, 2 nights $75, 3 nights $90
Cost for 2 people (shared bed): 1 night, $85, 2 nights $137.50, 3 nights $165
Earthaven is nestled in the heart of the rural Southern Appalachian Mountains, 30 miles outside of Asheville, NC on curvy mountain roads and within two hours of three airports.
Delicious, omnivorous meals are prepared by talented culinary artists from the Earthaven community. Vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options available. Snacks and beverages (tea, coffee) are provided. Participants are invited to help with meal clean-up. Many hands make light work.
As much food as possible is sourced from Earthaven and its surrounding farms and gardens, with some ingredients sourced from local grocery stores. Our meals are created with seasonal, local, fresh, wildcrafted, humanely-raised, and organic ingredients.
***If you have dietary needs beyond the ones listed here, please be prepared to bring supplemental food to support your nourishment and well-being. Our kitchen simply cannot accommodate all diets.
Full Weekend: Six meals are included, Friday dinner through Sunday lunch.
Partial Weekend: Four meals are included, Friday dinner through Saturday dinner.
Friday Only: no meals included
Full weekend (Fri-Sun)
Tuition Sliding Scale: $300-450 food and camping included
Partial weekend (Fri-Sat)
Tuition Sliding Scale: $200-260 food and camping included
Suggested donation $20-40 workshop only; food and camping not included. No registration needed, donations collected at the door.
Tuition includes meals & camping as noted above, instruction, and all materials. Private indoor lodging is available for an additional cost. Transportation is available for an additional cost.
We offer partial scholarships (50% of the bottom of the sliding scale) to black, indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) who otherwise would not be able to afford to attend. We understand that BIPOC experience more financial and institutional barriers to participation, and this is one way we are able to create more access. If you identify as BIPOC and would like to receive a scholarship, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
How to Secure Your Space
step 1 - Register: Fill out the registration form. Please give yourself plenty of time to complete the application, because it cannot be saved until submitted. (Your space is not reserved until your payment is received.)Register Today
step 2 - Payment: Use the cart below to select your tuition, meal, transportation, and lodging options, then select "Add to Cart." After the page refreshes, select the "Checkout with PayPal" option and continue through the PayPal website.
SLIDING SCALE: Because some people have more financial means than others, we have created a sliding scale fee system to accommodate a range of economic realities. The high-end of the scale reflects the value we believe the program holds, and the low-end offers a more accessible entry point. By choosing a higher price point, you are helping make the program more accessible to others for whom the low-end may be cost-prohibitive. Please consider your needs and resources to determine what might be a stretch, but not a strain.
We also accept checks or money orders payable to the following address and note the class for which you are registering in the memo field:
School of Integrated Living
11 Full Circle Trail
Black Mountain, NC 28711
Crowdfunding and Fundraising: Check out our Crowdfunding and Fundraising page for creative ways to engage your community and launch a "Community Supported Education" campaign. This approach can help support your investment in yourself, your community, the planet, and future generations.
If you cancel, you may transfer your place in the program to anyone of your choosing, who will need to register online. You can also donate your place to someone who would not be able to participate without financial assistance.
A 50% tuition refund is available until February 15, 2020.
After February 15, 2020, there will be NO refunds.
If SOIL cancels this program for any reason whatsoever, 100% of your tuition will be refunded.
Contact us at email@example.com with registration questions.